Shortly after we know that we have our lil precious, I have to remove it out from my tummy.
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Our lil Precious
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Got to know the great news was on the 5th week, 23 Sept 2009. We were overwhelmed but we kept our cool as we're going to see our family doc to confirm it.
The next day, with the pregnancy test result that was done the night before, off we go to our family doc. From there, we confirmed that I was carrying our lil precious. Happy of cos! but was worried on the progress as well due to I have a cyst on right side. We want to get everything done fast, so we went to see my friend's gynae at Boon Lay MRT station.
Scan shows that the cyst is out of the way from our baby, 1 glad. Due to I have spotting 1 day after I missed my menses and having cramps, so chances of conceiving the baby outside the womb is high. Another scan shows that baby was in place, 2 glad.
Happy as we were at that time. It was like, at last that I'm pregnant!
My body have a big change... I can no longer wear my jeans and tummy become bigger and bigger despite that I'm just pregnant!
Days after days, I started to have morning sickness... From mild morning sickness to serious morning sickness that I would vomit out my meals, not once, but few times for a meal. Due to work, I cant always run to toilet and it makes me tired out very fast, I decided to see the gynae to get the vomit pills. It was on 7th weeks +++ when i got that medication.
1 week after I got the vomit medication was my checkup appt and it was a Thursday. On Tuesday nite, I fall sick suddenly. I've got prescribtion from my family doc on Wednesday morning and everythings was fine except that I found the morning sickness became lesser.
I didn't care much and have a day's rest at my parent's house and I had 2 ice-cream each on afternoon and evening. Evening came, felt that my morning sickness was going to vanish... I thought for the worst but still calm and thinking it was all fine...
Thursday, it was the day that what we worried have become the true... The whole morning, I suddenly have no bond with my precious and the morning sickness become to mild that I almost have no feeling. I had called hubby when I went to bank, to prepared for the worst.
Evening came, meeting my friend at the clinic as she wanted to ask doc some questions as well. This is the first time we met after I got pregnant. The news was unbearable. Doc cant see any heartbeat from our precious. He cant confirm whether was precious on his another side so he asked me to go for a detailed scan the next day at Gleneagles Hospital where his clinic is located.
We had prepared for the worst but while doing for the scan, I still asked the nurse alot of questions like how's baby? Got any heartbeat? As hubby never saw the blinking of heartbeat before, he cant tell me whether there is anot. After scanning, nurse told us that our doc will explain to us further of the baby and we need to wait for 30mins to an hour for the scan result so that we can show to our doc.
Breaking news time... Doc confirmed that our precious couldn't survive, it had lost it's heartbeat at 8 weeks 5 days old. The day we did our detailed scan was it's 9 weeks old. It was devastated... I didn't breakdown in front of the doc, just asked a silly question if I can dun do the operation to remove our lil precious...
Lucky hubby was there to schedule the operation to be done on the next day morning... If he wasn't with me, I cant do the decision myself...
Once out of the clinic, we first phoned our bosses to break the news so that hubby can applied leave on saturday when my operation will be done and I have to inform my boss of a week's mc... I broke down... when on the phone with my boss... Obviously, he was shocked and asked his wife to talk to me...
Next was our parents... I called my mum, except for calling out for her, there's nothing that I can speak out... It was the saddest day that we have. After a few hours, we decided not be sad and brood over it...
I decided have a big feast for my lunch and dinner... On the nite, we have prepared those necessarities that I need to be have after my operation.
Upon reaching hospital, I listened to Mayday's song and I cried... Crying that my baby wun be coming back... While going into the operation room, I was alone. My 2 rings still hanging on my necklace. I held them on my hands and hoping that hubby could give me more courage to face it.
Doc came in, giving me a jab and telling me that I will be sleepy after the jab and I should go to sleep. Rite after the jab, i was feeling drowsy and I was total black out. I din know what happen next. I only know that hubby was waiting outside anxiously...
Slowly, I gain my concious and feeling something went in and out from my vagina and there's a slight pain. I din know that I was inside of the operation room for near an hr... After everything, the nurse asked my hubby to come in to accompany me, at that time, I was concious already but still feeling drowsy and sleepy...
Nurse came in for a while and I asked her, did I opened my eyes or closed my eyes through out the operation? She said, I told her that I'm very sleepy and she asked me to sleep. When seeing doc, he said he had monitored and my oxygen went low... He had put an oxygen mask on me and asked me to breathe, and I asked him okay... These are not in my memory at all.. He also said that he had to monitor me before operation, so it takes a longer time. But he only took 5 mins to take out my lil precious...
Till now, we still feel upset deep in our heart... I will cry when I listened to certain songs and I'm afraid to be alone... We tot we have put it down, but it was nvr put down deep in our heart...
This blog, is for memorial for our lil precious that was unable to see the world... Wanna to tell lil precious that altho you gave us a real short period of joy, but daddy and mummy will always love you and you'll always deep in our heart and memory.
We Love You, Lil Precious!
blissful & peaceful life || ant's world || Thursday, November 05, 2009